Posted in Journal, Journal

World Mental Health Day

It’s okay to feel unstable. It’s okay to disassociate. It’s okay to hide from the world. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay not to be okay. Your mental illness is not a personal failure.

n.n

Happy World Mental Health Day!
Being the person who lives with anxiety, I have so much to say. First of all, I feel obliged to tell you that you MUST take care of yourself and of your mental health, Trust me, if you don’t put yourself in the first place, no one else will. I feel like this topic is something that people don’t talk much about and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because people are ashamed of their mental illness.
My first meeting with my therapist was such a failure mostly because I didn’t find support from my family. They thought that only ‘crazy’ people talk with therapists. At my first meeting I was so scared and I couldn’t talk about my problems openly. I thought they will not understand me. On the other hand, I was ashamed but not because I was meeting with the therapist, but because I thought the things that make me sad and anxious are stupid. I thought I was being silly while I was talking about my fears. Thankfully, my therapist told me that it’s okay to feel that way sometimes. It’s okay not to be okay.

Sometimes, I break.

And it’s still fine. My broken pieces are still me. Oh yes, I am worthy. On some days I keep asking God ‘why me?’ Well, if he didn’t believe in me, he wouldn’t let me go through all of this. That’s the only answer I can think of. And it’s true – each one of us is beautiful. Our mental illness do not define the person who we are. We are beautiful and there’s nothing we should be ashamed of. Just let you know, you are not alone in this. We can and we will win this battle.